Please stop, for the love of god.



Mr Fish here.

I’ve been hibernating through a rather bleak Paris winter and I’m here to announce that I will be once again returning to a festival near you, provided you happen to be near any of the six festivals I will be performing at this summer. Which is highly unlikely.   

If you do feel like seeing me, an actual person who will speak to you it will require putting to one side facebook, tinder, pornography and or disposable formulaic television for a short time and interacting with people.

I would bring a friend as the world and particularly a festival can be a truly terrifying place.

I’ll be standing there on the street, initially alone, filled with self doubt, still hoping after almost twenty years of doing this that people will stop and validate my unconventional career choice. ‘No mum, I don’t want to be a teacher, I’ve never wanted to be a teacher, stop leaving brochures for teacher’s college.’

I think we can all get quite lonely. The more way’s technology finds to connect us the more superficial the connection.

I hope we can come together as a group and connect through the show. I’ll try to be as authentic as I can be and we can all share in that. This will be interspersed with some crowd pleasing tricks so you don’t get bored and wander off half way through thus rendering me even more insecure than when I began.

A little heads up, there may be what some may refer to as profanity, such as the use of the word ‘penis’ and the phrase ‘sexy bitches’. Now quite frequently I get complaints about this. I will now explain why I use this language.

Penis: I don’t consider this to be a dirty word, it’s a part of the human anatomy. Parents if you teach your young boys that penis is a dirty word it’s not going to lead to a healthy relationship with their genitals. I have two small boys both of whom have a healthy relationship with their genitals which is that they think they are hilarious. Guys look at your penisis, epecialy when they’re flacid. Then look at a turkey neck next time time you’re at the butchers and I dare you not to smirk.

Sexy bitches: I’ve been accused of being sexist for using this phrase as it contains the word bitches. The wonderful thing about language is that it’s always evolving and I would like to thank the gay community for appropriating this phrase and transforming it into a positive affirmation. So in the regards to being offended by this, if you are offended… then I don’t think you are one. Sorry.

Now I have been told that I should attach a picture or short video to this post in order to get more likes comments and shares, but I’m not going to demean you dear fans, friends and people who accidently pressed the like button because they thought I might sell fish and chips and they are really hungry and don’t live by the ocean.

I’m not of the opinion that a picture tells a thousand words. especially really tiny pictures.

I hope to see and be able to interact with you on some level this summer.


All My Love

The Amazing Mr Fish

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *